Moving Beyond Individual Care to Community Healing - Part 1

Due to the nature of this podcast, please know the content may be difficult to hear and can be triggering to those listening. Please take all necessary precautions and care while listening to this podcast.

In this podcast, Christina alongside co-host Miranda Encina, will dive into a discussion filled with honesty, heart, and hope. They will explore life-saving tools of self-care and community care. They will venture into ways organizational culture can play a pivotal role in either nurturing healing or perpetuating harm for survivors of sexual assault and abuse. Miranda & Christina’s unique identities, experiences, and cultural insights add depth to this conversation, bridging diverse perspectives.

This episode promises stories of resilience and practical strategies for self-empowerment and community healing for those who provide service and care to survivors of sexual assault and abuse. Tools that providers can utilize for themselves and for those they work with. Listeners will walk away with actionable recommendations, reflective practices, and perhaps even a newfound sense of humor to face the challenges experienced while working in this field responding to survivors of sexual violence. Join Christina and Miranda in this engaging and heartfelt dialogue that is more than a podcast – it’s a lifeline to anyone seeking light in times of darkness.

Presenter Bios:
Christina Love is an Alutiiq/Sugpiaq Egegik village tribal member and survivor of domestic violence, sexual assault, and trafficking. Christina’s story of transformation – from battling addiction, homelessness, and incarceration to emerging as a pillar of strength – offers a testament to the power of the human spirit and the importance of self-care and community care.

Miranda Encina is a survivor of domestic violence, proud Two-Spirit Indigenous, Chicanx activist, with a profound understanding of the importance of cultural relationships, intergenerational resistance and meaningful connections – Miranda’s lived experience with complex trauma and resilience helps form the work they do to identify, create and implement shifts that validate, humanize, and minimize (re)traumatization within communities.

This project was supported by Grant No. 15JOVW-23-GK-03969-INDI awarded by the Office on Violence Against Women, U.S. Department of Justice. The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this presentation are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Department of Justice, Office on Violence Against Women or the International Association of Forensic Nurses. 

Transcript

Intro: 0:00

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Kelsey Morris: 0:07

Hello, and welcome to today's episode. This podcast is brought to you by the National Tribal Clearinghouse on Sexual Assault (NTCSA). Visit www.supportingourcircle .org to learn more through a partnership between the International Association of Forensic Nurses (IAFN) and the Minnesota Indian Women's Sexual Assault Coalition (MIWSAC). NTCSA offers technical assistance training and education on issues related to sexual assault and abuse against American Indian and Alaska Native populations. NTCSA addresses cultural and traditional needs of American Indian and Alaska Native victims and survivors while strengthening training to improve the response to sexual violence within these communities. The NTCSA Project is supported by Grant number 15JOVW-23-GK-03969-INDI , awarded by the Office on Violence Against Women, US Department of Justice, the opinions, findings. Conclusions and recommendations expressed in this podcast are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the view of the US Department of Justice. My name is Kelsey Morris, and I am a project manager with IAFN for the NTCSA Project. I'm a proud member of the Bad River Chippewa, and I'm dedicated to serving as an advocate for Tribal communities. Today's guests are Christina Love and Miranda Encina . Christina is an Alutiiq/Sugpiaq Egegik village tribal member and survivor of domestic violence, sexual assault, and trafficking. Miranda Encina is a survivor of domestic violence, proud two-spirit indigenous Chicanx activist with a profound understanding of the importance of cultural relationships and intergenerational resistance and meaningful connections. This episode is part one of Moving Beyond Individual Care to Community Healing with Christina and Miranda. In this episode, the co-hosts will introduce themselves, discuss the importance on the topic, and provide information on how their identities are connected to the topic.

Christina Love: 2:35

quyana tailuci!, thanks so much for joining us. Today's topic is Moving Beyond Individual Care to Community Healing. My name is Christina Love and with me, my co-host is Miranda Encina . We're gonna be doing a little bit of a longer podcast , um, a longer introduction in in just a moment. Um, but we're gonna be talking about the importance of this topic and , um, and how our identities really connect to it. So , um, for introductions, my name is Christina Love . My pronouns are she and her. My family's from a village located in the Bristol Bay region, and I was raised in the village of Chitina, located in the interior on Ahtna and at the Baskin Land . And today I live on Lingít Aaní home to the Áak'w Ḵwáan of the Tlingit Nation. Um , incredibly grateful to to be here. And this, this topic means so much to me. Um, I am survivor of domestic violence and sexual assaults. I am a person in long-term recovery from IV heroin use and other mind altering substances. I've survived homelessness and incarceration, and next month on the third will be 11 years in long-term recovery, 11 years of freedom. So I know a lot about self-care, and I know a lot about , um, healing and family and , um, and community care. And these really are lifelines, the , this topic. Um , I take self-care , um, so serious. I am , um, radical about my self-care. And it is , it's been such a privilege to reconnect with my body and to be able to have the relationships that I have and be , to be able to show up for those relationships in a way that's, that's truly meaningful. The reality is, is that , um, even though I've been in this work for , um, for a long time, that , um, what it means to be a native person in 2024 is that , um, no one is exempt from violence. And so here I am in the middle of this podcast talking about self-care. And the reality is, is that I am in the middle of trial. I have health issues. And , um, and three years ago I was, I was sexually assaulted. So it's, it's been a long road of climbing out of this dark ditch and being able to continue to be a mother and be present and stay in this work. And so , uh, this topic is, is not light. And I really hope that listeners, whether you are somebody who identifies with experiencing sexual violence, or if you are somebody who works in this field, or if you have loved ones, I know that you're gonna get something from this. Uh , we , I'm gonna go into the description in , in a minute , um, and what , we'll talk about what we hope to cover in this moment, but I wanted to introduce you to my dear friend Miranda, who's with me today. And I want you to know that , uh, Miranda is an advocate at heart, and that's, that is one of the greatest compliments that I could ever give somebody. She comes with her full self, and she is present and engaged, and the work that she's done in her life is , um, absolutely evidence in the way that she shows up. I'm so grateful for how she makes me feel when I'm in her presence. I always feel seen and heard and , um, and celebrated. And that's a, that's a really wonderful and powerful , um, thing. I think it's one of the greatest gifts that we could give one another. So please welcome , um, my dear friend Miranda.

Miranda Encina: 6:12

Thank you, Christina . Welcome everyone. My name is Miranda. Uh , they and she pronouns, and it is an honor to be here today. Um, you know , Christina , for sharing your story , um, for giving us the opportunity to be witness to you. It is one of the biggest blessings that we could have , um, for each other. You know, as we're preparing and laying down the foundations of who we are , um, and what we're bringing into this space today. You know, I'm, I'm lighting sage. I'm, I'm smudging our, our virtual space , um, since we're so far away from each other. But, you know, the importance of kind of setting those roots and those foundations , um, our so , so, so important and so healing for the work that we do. So , um, thank you for beginning us in a good way. Again, my name is Miranda. I, I currently work in the field of domestic violence. Um, I have been brought to this field over many, many, many years. Um, I would also say generationally, you know, this is a generational , um, generational healers, I would say we are, right. And so, you know, I'm a storyteller. I am , um, currently on the land of the Arapaho, Cheyenne, and Ute people. My family are , um, he Apache and Navajo, my grandpa , um, and my, on my dad's side of the family are all , um, Dene from, you know, the, the southern part of the United States. I'm currently in Colorado, and then my mom's family is from what we now know to be New Mexico, but kind of migrated this way during the sixties and seventies because , um, my grandma wanted to go to school and, and the current school here didn't allow , um, our black and brown relatives to be in the classroom. So my grandma moved us down this way to fight for , um, us to be able to do that. And so it's currently where I reside now , um, a little bit more about myself and my journey as mentioned. You know, I'm a storyteller. I'm a healer. Um, I'm a visionary. I am a parent. I'm a survivor. Um, I am two-spirit. I'm someone who , um, lives with an invisible disability and illness. Um, you know, I speak language as my first language. I'm a documented human on this land. And so all of these things I kind of bring in with, with us. And it's important for us to know what social locations and what , um, experiences we bring with us, because it's gonna influence who we are, how we show up, and how we work with people. Um, so this is why Christina and I begin in this way. We wanna make sure that we really kind of set the foundation for , um, one, our lived expertise, right? And then two , um, really this work is from the heart for us. And so it's important for us , um, to share that with you all so that we can continue to be witness to each other. So , thank you. Take it away, Christina . Ooh .

Christina Love: 9:08

Oh , I feel, it feels, it feels good. Um, this is, this is such a big topic, and I'm, I'm grateful that we are , we're just gonna dive in. And , um, as the description says, we're gonna , um, be speaking from a really honest place. I , um, I love that anytime we work with Miranda, we, we speak the language of the heart. And it is, it's, it's, it's more than , um, intellectual. If we, you know, the , one of the biggest things about healing is that you will know healing by the way it feels in your body. We hope that , um, that we will end with hope. Um, we, we love to, to anchor in a future and allow , um, that , um, to be something that we can pull ourself towards . So that's, that's what we're gonna be leaving you with, is, is what you can anchor yourself in. Um, what we're gonna be talking about today are lifesaving tools. This is , um, it's, it's not just the connection between trauma and health disparities, but also the connection between organizational care and health disparities and individual care and community care, and how you are your community. And so am I. And we can't be separated. So if you, if you wanna be able to provide equitable services, we have to look at organizational culture. Um, so we'll be talking about the role that organizational culture can play for both nurturing or for perpetuating harm. Um, and we're gonna be doing all this work with the, the lens of , um, centering survivors. So that means that when we do this work with such a , um, intensity that it's focused on , um, survivors of violence, that it serves everybody, we're going to be using our identities and experiences and cultural insight to add a lot of depths and layers. And again, that's another part that , um, when you are looking at this work, that you cannot separate it , uh, whether we're talking about gender, we're talking about sexual identity expression , um, and all of the other different identities and experience that , um, lead to people living on the margins of the margins. That's the intensity that, that we really need. Um, we'll be doing this through, through storytelling , uh, but we, we really want you to have some practical strategies for self-empowerment and community healing. I think that is gonna be my, it is, it's my legacy that we move from being trauma informed to being trauma responsive, to centering our own healing, and doing it in a way that feels good to us. Um , Miranda and I have done this work long enough to tell you that , um, that when we are doing this work and it's rooted in any kind of power and control, it will take life from you <laugh> . It will , it will suck your soul. It will leave you with health issues. So we wanna transition into doing this way , um, that looks at reciprocity, that looks at , um, providing services in a way that is, is good and true for your own body, as well as the person that's sitting in front of you, as well as the person , um, that is in the office next to you, and every person who walks into that building, building. So this really holistic , um, cultural way of, of, of doing this work. Um, so this is gonna require some reflective practices for you as well as for your agency. And we're gonna ask you some questions. And if you wanna go ahead and get a pencil or a pin , now, we've got a couple of activities and , uh, we'll be doing them as we go along with you. So it'll be a real honest appraisal of what's happening for us and , and the questions that are coming up. Um, but this, I love that we started with who we are in our relationships, and there's a , there's a lot of scientific evidence for our cultural practices, like introducing ourself . When we tell you where we're from and who we are, what happens in , um, our brains is that it lights up in a different area. If you think that you, there's something similar to the person that you're talking about, the words that you use, the language that they use , um, then , um, you , you have more compassion and empathy. So there's, there's a lot of science to our cultural practices. And, and when we talk about being relatives , um, then , um, then there's, that creates a connection. So this, this first question is really , um, about that. It's about indigenous people being masters of relationships and looking at how community care and self-care are connected and why they're really important topics . So I get , um, I'm gonna give you the , the first question , the question, Miranda, and, and why is self-care and community care really important for us to think about all the time?

Miranda Encina: 13:47

Yeah, yeah. As you mentioned, Christina , it's, we are in relationship constantly, right? So I am all of the things that we described in the beginning, you know , it's very intentional, the ways in which we kind of talk about ourselves and situate ourselves because we are always in relationship, we're always in connection and relationship to things. And I think that, you know, why it's so important to really think about how important that is, is because we also live in a society that's very isolating, right? We live in a society that is very individualistic and that is isolating. And then we work in the field of power and control. And one of the main things about power and control is isolation, right? And so, when we can position ourselves in relationship to people, our world gets bigger, our world gets bigger. Our experiences, our expansive, our support systems are expansive. And so, you know, when we talk about and use the language of life saving , we don't use it lightly because we are literally talking about connections that could save someone's life, right? That could kind of pull you out of somewhere that you are, or , um, really be the connection that you're needed. And so when we're talking about self-care and community care, I am also a reflection of my community, right? And so if my community is, is, you know, thriving, then I'm gonna be thriving, right? And, and vice versa. And there's different ways that that can play out, right? And it's always not always gonna be perfect. And we are meant to be in connected connection with people. Um, and so we can't talk about one without the other. We really can't. Um, we need to be able to understand that they are intrinsically tied together. And, and it's going to really kind of challenge us to think outside of the narrative that we're typically used to, especially within organizations, especially when we go up in a hierarchy, right? Because then we get more isolated and more isolated. Um, so it's so important to understand that we need to make these connections , um, early on within the work that we are doing, because we are connected in so many ways.

Christina Love: 16:02

Oh , I , I love that. Yes. And I , it is it , and it's true that the harm that happened to me was a reflection of community as well as healing that happened to me that did , that the harm was a reflection of things that were missing for the community. And the healing that happened was a reflection of , um, resources and relationships that they, that they had. Um, and if you, if you didn't know this, I want to give you this question, and that is , um, what's the difference between two incidences of violence, two people who go through the exact same type of violence, and one person who ends up with PTSD and another person who doesn't? The biggest difference is connection is the relationships that they have. So immediately after , um, when people are, have access to another person who will listen to them, who will validate them, who will acknowledge them, who will normalize , um, what they're thinking and what they're feeling, that person has access to immediate healing that , that, that , um, that they don't have to spend the next 10, 15 years. And, and then in turn, how that connects to health disparities. Um , like autoimmunity, like heart disease, like cancer , like addiction, you know, all of all of those things. So what we're , um, what we know is that we never stop needing that. Never. Yeah . Yeah . And that really comes into play when , um, when we, when we go through trauma, but it before, during, or after, we never stop needing those things in our life. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> , we never stop needing relationships. Yeah . And people's ability to be able to show up and be present for one another is contingent upon the things that they have or don't have in their lives. And so that is, I think when I think about the connection between individual care and community care and what I say, I am my community. This is such a, such a, this, I mean, this is a thing that I grew up with. This is a way of thinking that I find is one of the biggest differences between , um, indigenous culture and , um, and, and some of the, the , um, and not <laugh> . So , you know, and , and , mm-Hmm . <affirmative> , I think that is a, is a difficult concept, but when we look at it from a couple of different lenses, you know, then we can begin to understand it. Um ,

Miranda Encina: 18:29

So I wanna add something in there as well. Um, you know , there was, I had been really going through some difficult times over the past couple of years, right? And really struggling with somebody , um, close to me who was , um, really, really needing support and had really experiencing some trauma , trauma traumatizing experiences, right? And, and someone had pulled me aside and they had explained to me that, you know, although this terrible thing is happening to this person that I care and love about the way in which I respond to that trauma is probably gonna be the thing thing that sticks with them the most, right? So I'm gonna experience this tr this very traumatic experience, and I'm gonna go and try and talk with my family about it, and maybe they don't believe me, right? Or maybe I go into this organization and I'm re-traumatized because they're not using my correct pronouns or I'm Right. So we continue as a community and we have the potential to re-traumatize somebody, right? Whereas if this person that I love is going through this situation and comes to me and says, this really terrible thing happened to me, and I embrace them, and I tell them that I believe them and that I love them, and that we're gonna get through it together, how much more healing is created with that opportunity, right? Same thing with our programming, same thing with our support systems, right? If we, the , if the way in which we respond to somebody's trauma is through healing and is with those opportunities, then that traumatic experience helps that person in some way feel like they can get through it, right? It doesn't minimize or take away the harm that was caused, but it does take away the retraumatization that they may have been experiencing, right? And so that stuck with me, and I really thought about that every single time I approached this person that I love. And it really helped us get through this in such a different way. Um, so yeah, that was just what I was thinking about when you were talking.

Christina Love: 20:33

I love that. Well, and that really, I feel like contextualizes it for people who are responding. So let's say you, yourself have been sexually assaulted, but you are the person that's responding, that's traumatic. You are sitting there holding their hand, listening to them, and it has to go somewhere. So the first person you tell the first person that you know, and , and you don't have to go into the details to just say, I had a day. You know? And have that person responds to you. And , uh, I was thinking about in some of these situations, the difference between an intellectual conversation and an emotional conversation, and how sometimes we do retraumatize people by meeting those in emotional conversations with an intellectual one. We try and use logic, and that's the difference between like, the language of the heart or what I'm feeling versus, you know, we'll be like, well then just go for a walk. Yes, I know going for a walk could help, and I know that drinking water, and I know, you know, maybe taking a day off or whatever it might be. Or maybe I don't have that , that ability, but really what I'm asking in that moment is to be heard and seen, and I'm asking, you know, to be validated and I'm asking to be witnessed. And, and then when we don't have that, then that lessens our ability to be able to give that next time.

Miranda Encina: 21:47

Hmm , hmm . Yes. Yes. And it's not always an easy thing, right? I can say that as someone who grew up in a home , um, or situations where survival was what was needed, I had to learn intellect first, right? Or who , or for someone who grew up in generations where feelings weren't allowed, one, because we didn't know how to navigate them. Two, because, you know, we didn't know what Yeah . What to do with them. And so , um, you know, it might be also some unlearning. It might be some unlearning of like, Hey, what does this mean? Or knowing of yourself, right? This is the way in which I show up. What is the potential for harm here? What do I need to be accountable for, right? And that self-reflection piece is gonna be huge, right? Because, because it's not always easy for us to go in with like these , um, you know, these understandings of feelings and emotions if we didn't grow up that way, right? Or if we didn't have the opportunity to process those things. And so really kind of knowing yourself as well is gonna be huge in being able to support someone else.

Christina Love: 22:51

Ooh , I love that. Knowing yourself. So, let's, let's start there. Let's start with , um, and, and , and paying attention to what comes up for people. So our first question is, I'm gonna ask you to gently close your eyes, because it will heighten your ability to drop from your mind into your heart and into your feeling. And when we do healing work, we , we talk about being able to feel your body and feel your feeling. The very beginning of healing is starting to bring awareness to your body, remembering that you have toes and legs. 'cause we can totally forget that after a 10, 12, 14 hour shift, and we just, we go into survival mode and we forget that we have legs. We forget that we have bodies, you know, we can be in pain for a very long time. So starting this journey is bringing an awareness to our bodies and bringing an awareness to how we feel. And so this first question seems like a simple question, but we're gonna dive into how complex it really is. The first question is, how do you want it to feel? How do you want, how do you want it to feel when you come home? How do you want your relationships to feel with your family, with your loved ones? So let's say you're getting ready for work in the morning, and you're thinking about , um, being at work. How do you want it to feel when you're there? How do you want those relationships and that atmosphere to feel when you're working with someone who has experienced sexual violence? How do you want that to feel? What do you wanna feel as the person providing those services? And then on the other shoe, let's, let's pretend for a moment that you are the person that has been harmed and you're receiving services. And would you wanna feel then? And for me, I go all the way to that place where, excuse me, where I have survived violence. And, and in those moments, there, there isn't logic. And , and , and , and there isn't a lot of complexity in that , in those moments when you're in deep survival. And what, what I longed for is for, for safety to , and some ease that someone would bring some ease into my life, whether that was, that they could intuitively know I needed water, even though I, I didn't, I couldn't express those words. Or , um, that I could be there with someone whose body was calm enough to, to not make me feel more nervous or afraid that I could relax a little bit and know that I, I would be all right . And then as I, you know, as I go through all of the other relationships there , the things that I needed, then I've never stopped needing, not in any space. And then they become a reflection. So even though it is this simple question, there's so much intentionality that's needed to be able to provide those things for our relationships and for our organizational culture, that I, I don't want to, to feel rushed. I don't want to , um, feel anxious. I want to feel empowered, and I wanna feel celebrated and comfortable in my own skin and comfortable with the people that I'm around. Um, and, and on another level, I also, I want relationships that allow me to bring all of my identities and experiences. And , um, I want space to be able to speak truth. And I want exist on that plane where we can dive into the depths. I want relationships where I can ask, you know , what you're afraid of and what makes you feel alive, rather than just talking about the weather. I want sub , I want substance to my relationships. So I feel a sense of purpose and meaning, and to, to get to that place where I, I feel a genuine connection to the people that I'm with and to the work that we're doing. There's so many things that have to go into to make those things possible. What , what ended up coming up for you, Miranda?

Miranda Encina: 27:08

Yeah, there were a lot of parallels, right? I, and it , and it made me really think through what are the spaces that I've felt that before, right? Where I felt like I can bring my authentic self, I can speak the language of my heart, I can see myself reflected in my workspace, right? I can see images of posters on the walls that have, you know, maybe my language or that have people that look like me, you know , um, where there were, you know, documents that had boxes that I can check about my gender identity or my sexual orientation, or my, you know, different identities that I show up with. Like, those feel good, right? Even just like a place that has my favorite snack. You know, like there was some, you know, supervisor that I had that would, you know, ask what , what are our favorite snacks? And, and are there, are there things there that create nourishment for me? Right? Do I have access to water? Do I have access to, you know, go to the bathroom when I need to or take a break? Now I know in the work that we do, those things are hard to navigate, and we gotta find a way, right? We gotta find a way. And for me, it comes to community accountability to be able to find a way to support each other in that, right, in this crisis work that we oftentimes are in. But, you know , yeah. Spaces that just feel, even on my hardest days working with survivors that still feel liberating because I know that I can connect with a coworker , or I can connect through dance and movement. Is there an opportunity for me to turn on music and just move my body for like, one minute, one minute, right? Like, I want to be able to tap into those feelings of feeling good and rejuvenated , um, even on the hardest of days. So those were some of the things that I was thinking about.

Christina Love: 29:02

Well, and that is the intentionality behind , um, organizational culture and transformation. So let's, like, take Zoom for example, we have not sat down to have any mutual agreements about how this changes our workforce, that it has just become an unwritten rule that we're gonna go from zoom to Zoom to zoom, with no in between time. I don't know about anybody else, but I'm finding that I have to , um, start doing emails before zoom time, and at the end of zoom time, so before eight o'clock in the morning, and after 4:00 PM which makes her a much longer work day , even though that was the, the intention behind working from home wasn't that Mm-Hmm , <affirmative> . Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . This is a great reflective process for agencies to think about what are the ways that you're being intentional , um, to think about the things that your employees need, or to think about the things that survivors need. Um, one of those avenues , um, for reflective practices is called feedback loops, positive feedback loops. So you have a way for people to anonymously say what their experience is without pushback, without repercussion, without retaliation, without , um, an an anonymous is, is, is a really important part. And you also have to demonstrate the ability to take those concerns seriously and follow up with them, otherwise people won't leave comments. That's what we, we've seen , um, and this, this growing body of work with , with this paradigm shift for us, you know , to really look at the positions that we have to be positions of servitude rather than positions of power. And remembering that we're here to serve people who've been directly impacted , um, and, and that they are the , that they, they have everything that they need, and they, they are going to tell you what's , what's missing. So engaging in practices for you to ask your staff what it is that they need and what it is that they don't have. Because there are a lot of agencies that are centered around a very specific type of identity or culture. And , um, everyone else falls through the gaps, you know? So if you've been in an agency for a long period of time, or if you have a certain identity or experience , um, I know even with all the identities and experiences that I have, that I have found myself in agencies and towing the line because it was, because, because I didn't know another way, because I was tired, because I didn't have the resources, because I had tried to , um, to make change. And , um, was met with , um, resistance. Yeah . So it , it takes a lot of us, you know, it takes a lot of intentionality for us to, to make those changes. So one of the things that you can do with that reflective practice is asking yourself now whether it's a policy , um, who is harmed by this policy? Who benefits from this policy? Um, and there's , and you could use that for things like gossip in your life, you know, if somebody's coming to you, if you're, if you're taking a break and you have other staff who are talking about , um, a client or a patient, you can ask yourself if this information, who benefits from this? You know? So that can be used for gossiping or it can be used for larger screening policies or, you know, or , um, um, HR and, and healthcare. And there , I mean , there's so many ways that we can use this evaluation, this reflection, but having people in your life that are going to help you, those, those accountability, those relationships, that what , what's the language that you use Miranda for that? I forgot what it , what was the word you used?

Miranda Encina: 32:42

Community accountability. Is

Christina Love: 32:44

That what I was it? Yeah. Specifically, like where you have like, the relationships with people. I, I know in some of our prep for this, we had brought it up and I said, I love those friends that I , I love them so much that I can be myself and I respect them so much that I'm also very careful about the words that I use. And I'm very aware, and I'm mindful that I, I am relaxed and I'm also very present. Um, and if and when I do make a mistake, then I'm dedicated to repairing that, and that being a really important part of my own wellbeing , um, because they bring such richness, richness into my life. But I thought you had a specific word for it. And I, there's

Miranda Encina: 33:24

A quote that I want that I wrote down in some of our prep works. I know. And it has to do with the accountability piece. And it says, our lives are inter interconnected and we are responsible for the shape of that interconnection. Ooh . Yeah . Right? And so, you know, when doing this accountability work, I think it really has to be at the root of our communities, right? When we can enter into community accountability, we can really begin to break down some of the binaries that we have around harm, right? Who creates harm? Who is harmed? And all of these things, right? Because we're messy humans, we're messy complex humans, and I am gonna make a mistake. I'm gonna make a mistake in our relationship, Christina , and it's gonna happen at some point or another. Yes. And if we can really kind of get past these binaries of , um, of some of those things and root ourselves in some , in community accountability, we get to decide what those interconnections look like, and we get to start with reflective practices, and we get to already come into organizations and say, okay, I know that these organizations may be built off of a hierarchy. We may be, we, I know that we have gaps in who we're serving and supporting, right? Like, when we can begin to be curious about all of those things from the beginning, we can create so much more opportunity for healing Yeah . And for people to authentically show up in the ways that they need and want to show up. Um, and we can meet them in that in so many ways. So yes, our lives are interconnected, and we are responsible for the shape of that interconnection.

Christina Love: 35:05

Ah , I love that. I love that. And that is , um, gosh, that's so important for defining more about individual care versus like self-soothing. So if I am, if I am accountable and I'm responsible for the kind of relationships that I wanna have from the relationship that I have with myself and the relationships that I have with my children, you know, that really , um, we're gonna talk about getting to the roots in a minute, but it really looks at the difference between the things that we do to self-soothe versus the things that we do to really get at some of the root causes, right? So I have a hard day at work, and I have a, I have a hard day period. I have a day, I have a day. Um , and what I do in the immediate, this , so this is, this is totally fine too. It's, it's validating the need for disassociation. It's validating the need for distraction. And you go home and you completely zone out on the way home that feels good. You know, you, you get on the bus, you get in your car, and , uh, and you just, you don't have to be there. I , and I call it cruising around in my space. You take a shower and you're just not in your body at all. You're making dinner, brushing your teeth, all the things that we can, you know, go to our, our , um, muscle memory for, we don't have to be present for totally fine. Um, death scrolling, watching television, you know, all of all those things , um, are self-soothing. We need those. And , uh, and there's a lot of other things that we can do, you know, that are really soothing for ourselves, buying ourselves that drink , um, making ourselves that meal, you know, eating all the potato chips or ice cream as I like to do, <laugh>, <laugh>. And , uh, and then there is like some, some serious self-care, and that is, you know, where you pay your bills on time and you pay your taxes, so you don't, you're not stressed out. Um, it is , um, having some go going to the doctor, you know, which I think is really hard for people who , um, I guess period, but there's a lot of people that's just really hard for, you know, check in with your friends. When was the last time you got your yearly exam? How old are you? Have you got your booby smashed <laugh>? Those are really important things, you know? Um , for my, for my partner, he is , he is coming up on some other exams that's gonna happen. Um, but is , but , um, but going to therapy, you know, and, you know, for people who are connected to , um, their identity and their culture, that also means going to ceremony. And that means spending time in the community, even though it feels like you, you in the, in the pie chart of time, you only get to choose between spending time with your family, spending , um, getting all of your work done, or cleaning your house. But it never seems like you can do all three <laugh> .

Miranda Encina: 38:04

I need laundry. I have like a ton of laundry with, with my teams . <laugh>. Yeah.

Christina Love: 38:10

I like, so this is great. I , uh, laundry is a cycle. It doesn't always have to be done all the time. It's a cycle I'm in and I'm in the put it away cycle right now, <laugh> all clean just needs to be put away. That's a , it's Sunday, and that's where we're at the cycle.

Miranda Encina: 38:26

Yeah. Yeah. You know, you make some really great points, I think about MySpace. For me, MySpace really matters. And, and I know that that's gonna be different for pe for different people, right? But because I'm such a person that needs, like, ritual and ceremony, my space is a reflection of that. You know? And so, do I have my stones? Do I have my, you know , um, sage, do I have my, like, all these different things. But then also for me, functionality is also important, especially when working in crisis work. For as long as I worked in crisis work, I find that what was helpful for me within, you know, organizations and when I had staff was, is there a way that I can witness what my staff are doing and create and make it easier, right? They're always looking for this phone number. Can we post this phone number on a little sticky at everybody's computer so that we don't have to look for it, right? If we are responding to crisis , does everybody know how to do that? Does everybody know where to look? Do we have things that are streamlined that cut out multiple steps that we're doing on a day-to-day basis? Right? So , um, that's a recommendation that I think would be really helpful. What are the ways in which your staff are currently existing? And are there things that you can minimize to help with burnout, to help with the over exhaustion, to help with kind of the redundancy of things that they have to currently look for in a day-to-day basis , um, that make it a little bit easier. And so my space is really important. When , when, you know, I'm not doing well, I'm like, okay, how can I kind of minimize things to make sure that I get what I need with as minimal as possible, but still it feels good and I have what I need to kind of be in my ceremonial space.

Christina Love: 40:20

Oh , yeah. No, I could not. Lighting is so important. And , uh, yeah. And what we, what we have to look at every day is really, it's , it's also really important. I was thinking about this , um, this quote , um, when we were talking about, you know, providing those services to people who have experienced, you know, specifically sexual violence. And that is the , the expectation that we can be immersed in suffering and daily loss and not be touched by it is un is as unrealistic as expecting us to walk through the water without getting wet. Yeah . Yeah . And the way that I see burnout showing up for so many people is not through , um, it's not through lack of work. It's through more work. I see people throwing themselves into work , um, and just becoming busier and busier and busier. So then it's, it's harder to rest and it's harder to relax, and it's harder to be comfortable in your skin or drop into your body. And , um, and that there's no shame in any of that. It's just having some reflective practices that you can, you can ask, how do I feel? What do I need? You know, or having the space. There are some periods in my life where I could not tell you what I needed until I had space from whatever it was that was causing me to be overwhelmed, to be stressed out , um, or to be afraid or hurt. Mm-Hmm . You know, all of those things that, that happened . Mm-Hmm .

Miranda Encina: 41:50

<affirmative> . And I didn't learn what I needed. Like, I still sometimes didn't know what I need again, like living this experience of survival for so long, right? And, and like independence of self, because because there, there weren't a lot of supports in place. I had to learn to do all of those things by myself. And so then when I've come to a place in my life where people are asking me what I need, I'm like, I have no idea. I have no idea how to respond to this. And so what I began doing was when something felt good, I was like, oh, shut down. Right? Like, when somebody responded in a way that was healing when something happened, or I did something that was like, oh, I really needed that. I would write it down. I would write it down, and I would make sure that I would keep a list so that I was able to answer that question better in the future.

Christina Love: 42:45

I love that. Um, I also , uh, very early on started to keep a journal of everything that stirred my heart. Everything that made me , um, feel alive, everything that made me feel loved. Um, then , uh, yeah. And then I would go back and remember it and write it, you know, and , and reread it and find ways to, to weave that into my life, that if I couldn't change something large, then at least I could find a way to bring some ease into , into my life.

Kelsey Morris: 43:17

Thank you to our host, Christina and Miranda, for all of the great information. Thank you for listening to part one of Moving Beyond Individual Care to Community Healing. Please remember to tune in for part two with Christina and Miranda as they continue this amazing discussion. This podcast was made possible by funding by The Office on Violence Against Women . The Opinions, findings, conclusions and recommendations expressed in this presentation are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Department of Justice, the Office on Violence Against Women, or the International Association of Forensic Nurses. If you would like to connect with an advocate after listening to this episode, please call 800-656-HOPE. That's 800-656-4673, to be routed to an advocate within your area 24/7, or go to rainn .org . That's RAINN .org . For more information or live chat.